Lord, Hear my Prayer...

I don’t know how I got here
But here I am
You led me here
I didn’t say the prayer
Yet you’ve answered
Here I am lord
In the arms of another
New dreams are forming
New expectations, new hopes
I’m happy where I’m at now
I accept that I could never know what’s best for me the way you do
I accept that every time I worry,
I doubt the goodness of your amazing grace in my life
You see my heart lord
And you know I embraced the former with all the fervor I could muster
I hoped and I prayed and I believed
I dreamed big dreams lord
But only you know best
And I could never plan for myself a life that could be better than what you’ve planned for me
I don’t want another lord
I just want real love
So this new relationship I commit to your hands
Please, give me the strength to listen and support
The ability to let go of my stubbornness
Grant me wisdom oh lord to see trouble
Give me the courage to go the opposite way
Please give me love oh lord
So that I may submit as your word requires
Fear tries to seize my heart
The haunt of past mistakes try to take over
But your forgiveness and grace continue to wash over me
I will not be ashamed in my pursuit of happiness
This time it’s up to you lord
May your will be done.

And so it begins...

Life just seems to suck right now. I cant complain though cause i'm well fed, in school, with some cash flow (even if it is loan money) and in essence just chilling. i have to impending doom of step 1 board exams to think about but even that doesnt seem to shake me. To start with, my roomates' boyfriend (my pseudo roommate) hasnt uttered a word to me since last week friday when i asked him for his share of rent. My people i do bad thing? i was polite and non confrontational and simply reminded him that we were in april...and he hasnt paid a dime of rent since january (even if he has been living with us since august last year...we agreed on spliting rent starting this january cause of his other living arrangements that simplye SUCKED!). And no be say the guy no get the money oh...he was just being lazy and kinda childish in getting it from his folks (both doctors by the way). anyway, the bobo has been carrying face for me since then even if he did mutter some fake ass smile as he gave me half of the 3 months rent. well me i cant shout. we shall live in silence and i shall carry face too. You all will find out that when it comes to issue of money...i aint no freakin push over. i'm learning to be assertive in that regard cause people will definately take ur kindness for granted and conveniently forget to do the right thing. Now if i could only apply that to the rest of my life...anyways...what an intro right? more stories to come on my rocky ass path to self discovery, love and jesus!